Question to ask before marriage. Marriage is a very important aspect of every human life. Despite some people claim that they don’t need it, the truth remains that they are deprived of the benefits of being married.
Marriage is a means to make you more responsible, marriage is an institution that is so beautiful, as well as a way to execute our leadership skills since it involves a lot of mixture of emotions and attitudes.
Marriage is an exciting step so, congratulations in advance. Remember, getting married is a major change in your life, so, it is very important to be extra careful before getting married.
You need to ask some important questions before marriage, and those questions must be accurately answered to avoid problems in the future.
Discuss certain matters with your prospective spouse before tying the knot. The answer given with sincerity will determine how well your marriage will go. Marrying the right person is very important. Some intending couples don’t know how to select the right person, but the truth is that is very possible.
The Vital Questions to ask before Marriage
You may think that you know your would-be spouse but unfortunately, you are wrong unless you must have sat them down, communicate and ask certain questions about them.
In another perspective, you need to ask yourself certain questions before getting married. There are four major aspects of pre-marriage questions you may want to answer and they are very important. I am coming in through various perspectives—the therapeutic perspective, and moral or religious perspective in order to strike the real balance expected of these important questions.
The four therapeutic aspects
- The finance aspect
- Family expectations
The four moral and religious aspects
Questions to Ask About Finance
Here are the questions you can ask about finance. They will help you to understand if truly you are ready for marriage.
Is There Any Debt You Have
You must ensure that you don’t have any debt before getting married. If you actually have a debt to clear, it is important you drastically reduced it. This will save your marriage as the potential spouse will not be caught with the surprise of your debt.
How Do You Handle the Current or Future Debt
If you eventually got married to a spouse with debt, it is not the end of life but you need to let your spouse understand that it is very important to generate a plan on how to pay those debts. If your spouse is nonchalant about debt; it will become a threat to your marriage especially if you are the serious type.
Is It Okay With You to Keep Money in the Same Account
You need to study yourself and your spouse to understand your reaction towards money. Are you the types that can keep money in the same account with others or you are not always comfortable keeping your money together with people? If that’s your case, it is necessary you keep a separate account with your spouse.
What Is Your Budget as Couples
Keeping budgets as spouses is a very good idea. If you are dealing with debt, will help facilitate how you handle it.
What Is Your Spending Habit
Your spending habit must agree with that of your spouse. Some spouses don’t have good spending habits; this could create a lot of debt in the home or may hinder the achievement of an emergency situation since the entire savings might have been lavished by one of the partners.
Should Couples Have Some Discussions Before Major Spending
Do you need to hear your spouse’s opinion before purchasing a car, going on vacation, or looking for a family outing?
What Is Your Response About Material Possession
You may want to ask if material possession is important to you. It is very important to know if your partner is the type that spends a lot on material things. If you are comfortable with that, then getting married to such a person is your choice.
How is your spending and saving Habit
Accept your saving and spending habit before your potential spouse. You must tell your would-be spouse about your spending and saving habit before getting married. May be by so doing, you can figure out a solution.
Can You Borrow Money From Friends or Family
How does your partner react whenever you borrow money from friends? Does your potential spouse react badly whenever you borrow money from family members? You have to talk about this before getting married.
The Questions to ask about family expectations
One of the most important questions to ask before marriage is the expectation of your prospective spouse about children and more. There are lots of topics you should cover such as community, health, friendship and more.
How many children do you wish to make
We often judge humans wrongly thinking that we already know them but it is not always so. If you want to avoid unexpected conflict with your spouse, discuss the number of children you wish to have with your spouse and then listen to your partner to know his or her expectations concerning the number of children to have. This will help you both resolve into a decision that will benefit your expectations.
How would you handle difficulty in Conceiving
It is good to be positive about conceiving in your marriage, but it doesn’t stop us from discussing how we should handle a situation where there is a problem conceiving. These conditions are part of the uncertainties of the universe. Discussing how to react or face this challenge is an ideal move. Ask your spouse concerning such a condition and hear what his or her response will be.
What Is the Degree of Your Care for a Child
Generally, everyone agrees that the husband is not always at home to give the kids the proper attention they need. It may sound somehow insignificant to ask this question but it is very important to avoid future conflict. I have heard of a situation where a wife will never cover the kids with a mosquito net just because she wanted the father to show some care for the kids. She was right, the father should create a special time to care for the kids, financially, emotionally, morally, and religiously if they are religious.
What Role Will You Take in the House Chores
A modern family may decide to hire a house help but in a situation where you are the types who don’t like the idea of house help, what is your role in the house cores? You should sit down, discuss the division of labor. Confirm that your spouse is not the type that doesn’t like such an idea or if you can still cope without him assisting you in house chores.
Questions About Goals
Everyone has his or her goals and expectations about life. Ensure that your goal and expectations about life are in line with what will keep your marriage stable. Tell your partner about your goals for the marriage and see if he or she agrees with them. If they agreed with your goals, congratulations, if they disagree with them, try convincing them, if they still insist, you will have to do the right thing to make peace reign.
How Do You Spend Your Next Holiday
Discuss how you normally spend your time during holidays. This can help you especially if you haven’t spent any holiday outing with your partner. Tell your potential spouse your expectations about holidays so that he or she can prepare their mind before the next holiday.
How Do You Handle Your Educational Goals
Your education is very important if you are the type that loves education. Perhaps, you still have the intention to further your education after marriage; it is not bad if you discuss your intention about the educational goal with your partner. This discussion will determine how to plan to make it a reality without negatively affecting your marriage.
Are You Thinking of Becoming a Business Person
Some men are not too comfortable with the idea of their wives being engaged in a business that takes their attention away from them. You can’t blame these men as many case studies have revealed how many marriages have broken or even failed due to the decision of a wife focusing more on her business than are matrimonial responsibilities.
If you are a businesswoman or lady before marriage, it is very important you both discuss it and see if you can figure out a way to make it work for your marriage.
Would You Find a Job After Marriage
This question goes to the female in a pre-marriage relationship. Especially if I am to explain this point in an African context; I will rather advise you to tell your spouse about your intention to start a job after marriage. If he agrees with your goal, it is better for you but there is a chance that he may oppose this idea with a condition.
Are You Going to Be Half Career and Half Housewife
Many marriages may not work if this matter is not settled. Don’t just suddenly wake up one day telling your spouse that you are now a career woman.
This will not end well. You must have discussed this before marriage. This will make it clear to you the reaction of the kind of man you are intending to marry. If your career is more important than being a housewife, from there, you will know what the next step to take is.
Questions to ask about Relationship
Your relationship with your spouse can make your marriage last longer than expected. Having an overview of how your relationship will be is not a bad idea after marriage.
What Is Your Impression About Your Partner
What is your first impression of your potential spouse? Although, I don’t believe in the first impression, as some internal or external force can influence a person’s behavior at a certain time; it is closeness to a person that is sufficient enough to get a glimpse of his or her character.
What Do You Like About Your Partner
This will serve as the rekindling of the flame of love when it is quenching gradually. That special quality you love about your partner can make your love for them remain in your heart. Figure it out and work on how to help them improve about it.
Ask yourself how the relationship started
Maybe when conflict is too much these days in your marriage, you can sit your spouse down to discuss how you started the whole love. Remind each other of the purpose of your marriage and perhaps, you may resolve the issue and become better together.
Do You Still Love Your Partner
You are beginning to find faults in your spouse but want to know why this is happening. Once you understand the cause of this conflict, try and find a solution for it. You can still check your heart to know if you still love your partner before getting married to them—some people don’t love their partners and still get married to them for the fear of what people will say.
Are You Happy With Your Partner
Who is forcing you to get into this forthcoming marriage? Are you happy with your partner’s behavior or you just wanted to get married to silent people’s criticism of you? You need to ask yourself this question to avoid a future problem when you are married. Remember, you are choosing a life partner, please, make enough investigation before marriage.
The Religious aspect of the whole thing
We have come this far talking on the therapeutic aspect of marriage as I intentionally put it despite I understand that the religious counseling about marriage is also therapeutic. Now, let us see or read what the religion has to say about pre-marital counseling.
The Question about Wealth
People marry for different reasons; your reason for marrying a person could be for his or her wealth. It depends on your mindset and agreement with the potential spouse. Why are you getting married to this person? Wealth is good, but are you sure if you can live with your wealthy spouse? What is the nature of his or her behavior does he or she value you despite they are wealthier than you are?
It is not bad to marry for wealth but the consequence is always bad unless you find the right person. Note this—marrying for wealth in this context means, you love the person and luckily enough he or she is wealthy. Ensure that the potential partner loves you in return.
The Question about Character
The character of your partner is very important. You are about to form a lifetime relationship with your spouse, it will be risky to accept them the way they are.
This kind of statement annoys me—“accept them the way they are”. Accept a monster that is not showing a single sign of change? The character of a human is himself. This means, whatever harm he can do to others can be done towards you one day. If you realized that your life will be endangered by a person, please, kindly avoid going into a marriage relationship with them.
Question his or her character through observations and the opinion of the sincere and reliable people around them.
The Question about Background
I understand some of us may say a person can develop his own character far different from the parents’. Yes, it is possible but always takes a long time to master. The background of your spouse matters in terms of behavioral influence and then the security influence.
Look into the family you are intending to marry from. Is there any criminal history that may affect you negatively after marrying their daughter? Does it sound funny? I am not saying that you should avoid your good spouse just because the background is affected, but you must know this and then decide to continue or move on. True love doesn’t fear any background if the potential wife will be peaceful at home.
The Question about Religion
Are you the religious type? Can you cope with a non-religious spouse? What is your religion talking about the kind of partner you are about to marry? This has to do with the way religion affects your marriage. You have to conclude on how you allow religion to influence your relationship.
These questions give us a clear view of how our marriage may possibly look in the future. If we can answer these questions sincerely, they will go a long way to help our marriage work.